This weekend my mum and I finally did something we have been planning for years.
He said
It’s been an interesting week and weekend for us coming into Thanksgiving. Last weekend we got together for a less traditional gathering at Springbank Park with a BYOD (Bring Your Own Dinner) type gathering with the weather being so conducive to outdoor gathering. Testza and the girls would be busy this weekend and unavailable so Testza had requested if we could do our Teeter gathering a week earlier and since we were all available, we did. It was a great gathering, there were lots of laughs and it was so good to be together again for much better reasons that kept bringing us together over the last couple of years.
But about the middle of this week it started to weigh on Emelia that we weren’t having a more traditional style gathering—one that she had been used to for pretty much every year of her life. With Greg gone, then Dad and then Mom this year, while we do get together it certainly does feel very different and I can’t say I feel it any differently than Emelia does. So even though last weekend was very good, we’re all feeling the significantly different this Thanksgiving feels.
Add that Emelia has a midterm next week as well as a midterm paper due, and, that we closed up the trailer this weekend for the season, and this weekend was focused on a lot of more things we weren’t excited about, than we normally are. So, we’re going to try and see what family and friends are available next Sunday and see if we can’t cobble something together that feels a little more like we’re used to. If nothing else we can gather here, have some food and more importantly, more time together as a family (and friends). It also means we will need to be a lot more deliberate about how we do Christmas this year and making sure we make most of the time we have available and act on any moment we can get together.
And yes it was time this weekend to pack up the trailer as the park officially closes this week. It sure snuck up on us fast, and like last year, with all that was going on with out family this year, we didn’t get near the time we wanted to up at the trailer. But, of the time we did get, it was amazing. This is our second full year up on Snob Hill, and we’re so happy with our decision to move the trailer up there as there is a nice community of friend we’ve made, the area is much quieter and we love site 57 in a way we didn’t always love site 218. But, the best part has been how easy it is to closing up at the end of the season and opening it again in the Spring. And that we don’t have to tow out or back in at the end of the season. So, while this weekend was bittersweet, we are already excitedly awaiting the season opening for neat year!
She said
This weekend certainly didn’t feel like Thanksgiving. As John said this year felt different, heavier, and something was missing. We had to move thanksgiving to last weekend, it was far from traditional but we still had a great time. As adults John and I have had to adjust to a lot of loss, felt the heavy loss of family and the holidays have hit us different for a very long time. But there are times when as adults we forget how different it hits kids. Even though Emelia is an adult she feels things like a child at times. What we as a family have to remember is how much we have all lost and how it hits everyone very differently. For John he lost his brother and both his parents, for Emelia she lost three of her favourite people and her biggest champions. I think as parents we have to remember out of our own grief that the grief is different for our children. For Emelia she doesn’t have a big family on my side, she has my sister, uncle and cousin and that is really it. My dad hasn’t been in our lives since Emelia was 6 years old. So these losses and these holes in her life hit so much harder when she sees her friends have these big family gatherings. John and I know that this Christmas we will need to be more mindful of this impact on Emelia and make sure we keep the magic of the holidays alive for her.
This weekend wasn’t all heavy, well not entirely. For a number of years Emelia and I have been talking about getting matching tattoos. The basic idea was mostly the same but it had evolved over time. Emelia has allows had a deep connection with my mom, even though Emelia was born 13 years after my mom passed it hasn’t stopped this invisible line between them. It started with naming Emelia after my mom but we have always shared as many stories we could with Emelia and to always let Emelia know how much my mom always dreamed of being a grandma one day. So we always knew that my mom would be present in our tattoo choices. In the end we took my mom’s handwriting from a letter I had from my mom and had her handwriting tattooed on our arms. I added three butterflies to mine to represent my sister, myself and our mom. We also did a second tattoo, both behind our ear with a semicolon and angel wings. We have always called my mom angel-grandma so it suited her and the semicolon was so important to represent mental health that took my mom from us all those years ago.
This weekend although painful and showed us how much we had lost it also reminded us how lucky we are to have loved those we have lost so much. We cherish what we have but then have to remember that each of us have dealt with the pain of the last 2 years very differently. We have to remember that we have to always need to check on the ones that seem the strongest. The loss and impact is harder for each of us. We will plan and make sure that the next holiday that again will be painful keeps the magic we have lost. I know that Emelia really needs that.