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It was a stressful week but I am happy to be done my first mid-term. It is not over yet, I still have a few papers to get done this week plus another mid-term in a week.
He said
This week was a very big and very stressful week for Emelia. It was her first midterms of her university career and while her exam and paper schedule wasn’t as filled as it could be, it was still very anxiety-inducing for her all the same. Being completely green to this, she had no idea what to expect and every bit of guidance and warning from her professors made her feel more worried about failing and failing hard. The launch pad for it all was her Psychology class which is a lot more Biology than she would like. For someone who really loves sociology, the heavy science focus so far in the class has been overwhelming and makes her constantly second guess whether this class is right for her.
Add that the process for accommodations for her IEP for exams at the university level is very different than it was in high school and we had even more stress for this specific exam. As opposed to high school where her accommodations were sorted at the start of every year and ‘went with her’ through every course, at university you have to advocate and routinely too for your accommodations. As a result of this new process, Emelia missed the window for having her accommodations for this specific exam and that only added to her stress going into the exam on Friday.
After she made her peace with missing that window she settled into focusing and trying to do her best given the circumstances. That went well until it peaked on Thursday night as she tried to fill her head with as much preparation as she could and she basically shut down. These are the moments we are really happy that she chose to live at home through the first year as we were right there to help her work through the emotions she was experiencing and to help her sort through the overwhelming moment she was going through. In the end we got her to stop studying and just relax for the night—that no matter how it went, we were super proud of her and that life would still go on.
She got up Friday in a better (or more accepting head space) and took the exam head on. I had a later start to my work day so I was able to talk to her and remind her that it would be okay and that it would over soon and then she could get on with life. About an hour and half after it was to start, we got a text form her that she was all done and happy it was over. In the end I didn’t think it was near as bad as she anticipated it might be and she had switched from thinking she was going to get kicked out of school for her grades, to hoping she passes and would figure out what to do after she gets the exam score. It was tough to see her go through as we both remember the stress of how much harder university felt until you found your new rhythm and process different than high school, but we also knew it would feel eraser once she got this first stress out of the way.
But, in the end she survived and we’re super proud she went into this knowing she might fail which for me is the definition of courage: going into something knowing you may certainly fail. You can’t ask for a better lesson and better result, regardless of her exam score!
She said
As John has mentioned it was a very stressful week for Emelia. The entire Thanksgiving weekend Emelia was studying for her first big midterm. Honestly I have never seen her study so much for one exam. She was trying so hard to balance her other courses, papers that were due last week plus studying for her hardest course. When Emelia picked her courses she felt she was going with her strengths to make the adjustments to university as smooth as possible. In high school she took every single social science as the school offered, she took them all to have a solid foundation for her first year classes. She took psychology and felt she would be in great shape, well she has been beyond surprised with the content of this course. I have read some of her study notes and this is far more of a biology course vs a psychology course. Is has been gruelling and stressful for not only Emelia but her best friend Bri who is also in the class.
To add to the stress of this exam was the fact that Emelia missed the deadline for self enrolment in accommodations for her exams. In high school it was lead by the school, for university she has to on her own book each exam individually and the deadline to book it is far out from the exam and strict. She missed the accommodation for the first exam. For Emelia’s learning disability she is allowed extra time on exams, a private exam room and allowed to use a computer to not only read the questions to her but to type out her answers. These accommodations allow her to have an equal playing field when it comes to being successful, between her ADHD, dyslexia and working memory exams have always been a challenge. This is why she chooses programs and courses that have a lot more papers, projects, participation vs pure examinations to show how much she understands the material. So without any of these supports and her challenge with this course she was beyond stressed the days leading into the exam. In the end she studied hard, pushed through a lot of adversity so no matter the mark we are proud of her. This coming week she will come to the school, talk to academic advising and her team in accommodations to discuss wider supports to ensure that she is ready for her next exam.
With exams out of the way Emelia finally had a break. She opted to take a bit of a break this weekend and enjoy time with her friends. But in true Emelia fashion she really didn’t have much of a break. On Friday she had to work but then after work one of her rugby girls came over, spent the night and they were up to the wee hours. Saturday Emelia crashed out late and then once she was up and moving she had to rush off to the cheer gym for a full day of events. We have talked a lot about Emelia’s cheer team this year. Since she is on a worlds team this year there is a lot more commitment. She has to do extra practice times but this weekend was their first Vali Girl fundraising event. As leaders of the gym the girls did a stunt practice with younger athletes, it was a fundraiser for the girls and their admission fees to Worlds in Florida. The day was a huge hit, it sold out in a matter of days. By all accounts the kids and athletes had a blast! This is the activities that Emelia loves, she loves spending time with the younger athletes and being a mentor. After the event there was a large team bonding celebration between Emelia’s team (Valiant) and the other Worlds team (Virtue). They had a big potluck and then country/cowboy themed party. It was a great night all in all.
Emelia came home after the very full day ready to finally have a night with her best friends. She felt that after last weekend and being stressed all last weekend she really needed this quiet night with her girls. I love how bonded she and the girls have remained even though they are at very different places in their lives. Emelia and Bri are in university together and Belle and Ashley went back to Lucas for grade 13. The girls are almost closer than ever which I didn’t think it was possible. They are rock solidly behind each other, build each other and are so close. It is this sort of friendship that Emelia really needed after a really rough few years. We love these girls so much.