Trying times…

IMG_3438I am down to my second last week of kindergarten! Tomorrow is my second last day of school before summer. I will miss my teacher Mrs Marques, but I am very excited to be going to Grade 1 and being in school every day. And after this week, Mommy and Daddy are also happy about that too.

He said

What a week! After having last weekend off, but not with my girls, I was kind of concerned that I wouldn’t have the chance to celebrate another weekend – all of us together – for some time. But, as luck would have it, I managed to score Sunday and Monday off this weekend, and Saturday to Monday off next weekend because of the long weekend. Today we got to be a family together, and next weekend we get to repeat the process for three whole days together — just the kind of reconnection and downtime we need together!

This week at work was one of my probably most rewarding weeks ever at the job in terms of some feedback I have been given from the leadership team and it leaves me as excited about the upcoming months, as I was when I started the job. Which, considering today is officially one year from the date we opened the store, pretty remarkable.

IMG_3440Hard to believe it’s only been a year, and yet it also has flown by so fast. I’ve been doing a little reflecting over the last few weeks, and there has been nothing but happy memories of what has changed in my life since taking on this job. But, better yet, there is nothing but excitement about all the possibilities in front of me too. As much as I loved my last job, there was no where near the sort of growth opportunity or challenge for me either. A year later, I don’t have even a sliver of regret about changing careers! It was the best decision I could have ever made.

Now… having gotten that out of the way, we’ve been going through a bit of a challenge with Emelia as of recently. We know and understand that she is testing and discovering boundaries. And that this is normal part of her development. But, we – Danielle especially – would be lying if we said it has been all roses with her lately. She was especially difficult this week for Danielle with the daycare, that when I come home in the evenings, my immediate reaction is to send Danielle out for the night, and give her some relief from it all while I throw my stubborn right back at Emelia. The trouble is, Danielle is like me, and wants be there for it all… the good and the… well… not so good.

So, we’ve basically been pulling privileges all week, and keeping steadfast in our resolve with it. We’ve seen some little (er) tiny victories but regardless what Emelia is finding out, is that the boundaries are exactly where we are telling her, they are. More importantly that Mommy and Daddy are on the same page. Which in the end is the best thing, and what has gotten Danielle and I through pretty much everything… even the things pre-Emelia.

So, sensing that things were a little tense for Danielle, Mom and Dad, offered… well almost demanded that they take Emelia for the night last night which was an absolute godsend for Danielle.  We had a much quieter night at home and were able to even sneak a little bit of a sleep in to boot. We spent the morning at a slower pace and were able to clean up the house for today’s visitors — but I will let Danielle tell you about that. The point is we got enough of a break for Danielle.

So, the big goal for this week is really to hopefully have less of the boundary testing and more of the ‘it finally sinking in‘ with Emelia. Especially since I have three nights where I am working to 8:30. But on the other side of that thankfully is those three days off for me, Emelia, and more importantly, Danielle!

 

She said

IMG_3435As John has spoken of already this was perhaps the most challenging week in recent memories with Emelia. She has been beyond a handful for me. She is pushing me in every which way: sass, back talk, and defiant behaviour is making me mental. We have always said we wanted a child who could speak her mind to us as her parents but the one thing I will always demand is to be treated with love and respect. This is something that is horribly lacking.

As I type this I can hear her fighting John tooth and nail. She is fighting him on bedtime. Her latest is to pull the ‘sorry, I will listen if you give me my privileges back’. That is not going to fly with her father right now, and not me either. The problem she isn’t realizing is that her parents are on the same page and are more stubborn than she is. The joys of parenting. She is really pushing it with us. Let’s say that LCBO might be our best friends for the next few weeks. I am beyond dreading next week with John’s work week. He has three late work nights which means this battle is all day and all night, but the sweet reward of that is 3 days off as a family.

For a million reasons I adore my inlaws. One is that they know me, they can sense that I was at my wits end with her. Our dryer died a few weeks ago which means that we have had to rely on my amazing inlaws for their laundry. I knew we had to get some laundry done but once again Saturday I was doing battle with the queen of sass. I texted Helen telling her that I didn’t know what to do with her, I had to get our laundry done but with her behaviour I did not want to leave the house at this point.

Within minutes I got a text from her saying bring Emelia over and we can have a talk with her and give me a break. Of course the queen of emotion flipping was sweet as bloody pie for her grandparents but it did give me the break I needed to get things done. Poppa brought her on the deck and talked to her, not sure if it sunk in (well from tonight’s fit I doubt it did).

They generously offered to bring us out for dinner, I went to pick up John after bringing Helen, Doug and Emelia to the restaurant. After getting John from work, Helen and Doug offered (firmly) that they were going to take her for the night and give us a much needed break. I was concerned having her stay over there since Doug’s surgery was only a few weeks ago but they assured me they were OK with it.

Off John and I went and enjoyed a quiet night and a rare sleep in. After we got up and going we were quickly moving into cleaning house mode as it was today that we were celebrating Father’s Day with my dad. We cleaned up around the house, made a stop to pick up supplies for the afternoon and then picked up Emelia.

IMG_3443We made it home just after Dad and Linda arrived and spent the afternoon telling them all about our trip to Disney and the cruise, they told us all about some of their recent trips and what was going on with the entire family. It was so wonderful catching up with them as we just don’t see each other as often as we would like.

All in all it was a great few hours, hoping that the next visit is sooner than later. We had a great time and love seeing them.

That was the week that was, we are in for a battle with Emelia but know that although it is hard we are parenting for the long haul not for the quick fix. We need to assure she knows that yes she can talk to us but that there are limits and boundaries. We just have to figure out how to guide her so when life presents her with difficult choices she knows which way to choose. Just know Emelia when you read this years later that we are doing all of this because we love you and want you to be a strong yet loving empathic person.

 

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