he said

Where was I? Oh yah. Last week was insanely busy at work. So busy I pulled a whole, precious Saturday at work. The catch was I thought I was doing that to alleviate me from another week of madcapped craziness and give myself a little more breathing room. However that didn’t happen. The big project I am working on took up a large part of my week and I had to occasionally break from that in order to chip away at the ever growing other pile of work. I ended up with another couple of late nights this week, working till 8pm twice. And I didn’t leave work on Friday until 7pm. But knock on wood, the big project is winding up, and that will give me time to take a hardcore stab at the rest of the workload. But the other side of that is I am looking at potentially coming in at 40+ hours over what I am supposed to be at for my monthly minimum targets. And I have stockpiled a nice little douse of time-off-in-lieu that I can use rather than submitting OT and getting nailed up the wazoo with taxes.

The last couple entries here have been completely about work – but sadly I think I have spent more time in the last two weeks there than anywhere else – even bed. I think poor, Danielle was starting to forget what I looked and stunk like. Thankfully this weekend we managed to get some much needed reconnecting time and its way more fun than working if you can imagine that! 🙂

17 Sleeps till the trip to Edmonton!!

That’s all for me, here’s to lucky charms.

 

she said

Well as you can guess this week was uneventful for me – don’t really know what to do with myself when I am not being poked by doctors or having more tests done. I have realized that I hate the limbo time. I know I should be enjoying this in between time, the strange quiet of our home, the being able to sleep in, go to see my brother in law play in his band. And don’t get me wrong I do try and enjoy every aspect of my life. I love my friends, family and husband. I know I have a good life – but it is not complete. In the whole scheme of things this is just a blip that I will not even realize once we get some answers from the specialist. So to pass time, John and I started looking at the kitchen plans again, anyone who knows me knows how much I hate my kitchen… and for those who do not know – I HATE MY KITCHEN. So today we decided to see what was behind one of the walls. So with hammer in hand John put a 1 foot square hole in the drywall/plaster. There is no going back – soon we will start on the diversion project that is a kitchen remodel.

I wanted to share one other thing, I friend  from one of the message boards I am on sent this to me after our last miscarriage. I am not at all a religious person so minus the god reference it was a very touching sentiment that has offered much peace over the last 2 months since we lost the second baby.

 

What Makes a Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes 

And prayed to God today 

I asked “What makes a Mother?” 

And I know I heard him say. 

“A Mother has a baby” 

This we know is true 

“But God can you be a Mother, 

When your baby’s not with you?” 

“Yes, you can,” he replied 

With confidence in his voice 

“I give many women babies, 

When they leave is not their choice. 

Some I send for a lifetime, 

And others for the day. 

And some I send to feel your womb, 

But there’s no need to stay.” 

“I just don’t understand this 

God I want my baby to be here.” 

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat, 

And then I saw the tear. 

“I wish I could show you, 

What your child is doing today. 

If you could see your child’s smile, 

With all the other children and say… 

‘We go to Earth to learn our lessons, 

Of love and life and fear. 

My Mommy loved me oh so much, 

I got to come straight here. 

I feel so lucky to have a Mom, 

Who had so much love for me. 

I learned my lessons very quickly, 

My Mommy set me free. 

I miss my Mommy oh so much, 

But I visit her every day. 

When she goes to sleep, 

On her pillow’s where I lay 

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek, 

And whisper in her ear. 

Mommy don’t be sad today, 

I’m your baby and I’m here.’ 

“So you see my dear sweet ones, 

your children are okay. 

Your babies are born here in My home, 

And this is where they’ll stay. 

They’ll wait for you with Me, 

Until your lesson’s through. 

And on the day that you come home 

they’ll be at the gates for you. 

So now you see what makes a Mother, 

It’s the feeling in your heart 

it’s the love you had so much of 

Right from the very start 

Though some on earth may not realize, 

you are a Mother. 

Until their time is done. 

They’ll be up here with me one day 

and know that you are the best one!”